Rain City
by CorpseonFire
Summary: The worst thing about life is the losing. That's what hurts the most. But why Duo? And how, after leaving so much unsaid, is Wufei supposed to go on? I gave it two thumbs up, personally. Lol.


Rain City

By: Kitsune No Yume! Back with a vengance! J

Pairings: DuoxWufei

Warnings: I dunno.

Disclaimer: I do not own GW. They are owned by other peoples.

A/N: Okay, so I'm back. Hey. I havn't been back here in nearly two years and all the people who used to know me are long grown up past all this by now. But I'm not. So hi, I'm Kit Kit, and this is my yaoi! I'm 18..the rest of it you can find at my profile. So just enjoy my fic. J Song is "Radios in Heaven" by the Plain White T's. When a friend of ours died, we played this song at her funeral.

"You were the first of us to go. But then, I should have expected that from you." Trowa said. His unbearably gentle voice, magnified and amplified with the microphone, echoed throughout the small church, packed beyond capacity. But Trowa wasn't addressing them. He was talking to the small body lying in the casket before him. From where he was standing, he could probably see all of Duo Maxwell, lying, more serene than he had ever been in life, in the simple pine box.

Wufei squirmed uncomfortably. It was bad enough, he thought, coming together like this so long after the war. There would be the usual questions of why they hadn't gotten together more often, where the others had been, and, mostly, what could have led Duo to his desiscion. As far as they knew, Duo had been the happy one, the one who had shouted back at the crows, the one who had danced in the rain and crowed his slightest victory. Duo wasn't the type to go into deep depressions, to start with the alcohol- although, thinking back, he always had drunk a little overmuch- and then into drugs, and then, finally, into his own death. "He wasn't the type," Quatre would say, leaning against Trowa for comfort, his big green eyes staring into nothingness. "I didn't expect this."

"You were the one who kept us together, Duo." Trowa continued, softly, shooting a glance in Wufei's direction. "You were the one who kept us safe. Though we've parted now, we were a family, and like all families, we're grieving without you. But you wouldn't have wanted grief here, among your friends, and family, and everyone whose life you've touched. You would have wanted well wishings and laughter instead. So Godspeed, Duo Maxwell. I know you're in a better place, wherever you are. The wind at your back, my friend." At that, Quatre started crying, and Wufei put his hand on the smaller man's shoulder, the best measure of comfort he could give.

"I don't understand." Quatre whispered, as Wufei knew he would. "I just don't get it. Why him? What could have led him to this?"

"It's not like you and Trowa, Quatre." Wufei said simply. "Me and Duo..we're alone." And the heaviness of that word, rang in his ears. Alone. He was alone, painfully alone, without his Duo.

"_Hey, Wu. Wufei, wake up!" _

_Wufei opened his eyes, blinking up into those violet eyes, crinkled with mirth, hovering inches away from his face. "You're so cute when you're sleeping." Duo told him, wriggling his hips against the older boy's groin. "You wanna play a game?" Wufei grinned and shut his eyes, letting his hands play along Duo's hips, tugging on his hair, pulling his head back. _

"_What did you have in mind?"_

_Duo reached down, between the growing heat of their bodies and grasped Wufei's erection in one practiced hand. "Let's see how long it takes for you to make me scream." Wufei tilted his groin and reached out to Duo's shirt, but the younger boy scrabbled off of him and turned the radio on, letting the staticy music fill the air. "Just so no one has to know." He explained, crawling over the sheets, back to Wufei's waiting arms. _

He sat in his living room with his chin on his knees, his arms wrapped around his legs. Only a few hours had passed since they had commited Duo into the hard, cold ground, and Wufei had fled as soon as the burial was over, with promises to get in touch soon.

"Please, Wufei." Quatre had said, grasping his hand. "I know you were friends with Duo. If you could try to find out-"

"I will." Wufei had said solemnly, turning to Quatre's lover and grasping his hand briefly. "Thanks for letting me stay."

"Will you be all right?" Trowa had asked simply, raising one eyebrow. Wufei had nodded, avoiding Trowa's eyes. And he had thought Quatre was sensitive..well, Trowa was a completely different ballgame.

"I will be." He said simply, and turned, and walked away.

And now he was here. He had always been lanky, for his race, but something about the way he curled himself up reminded him of a spider curling up to die.

The war was over! That was what Wufei kept repeating in his head, over and over. The war was over and gone. He had always assumed that they would part after the final shots had been shot and everything in the world had finally gone quiet and still. And Duo had never mentioned wanting to stay. Truthfully, whatever he might feel, Wufei had always assumed that Duo saw this as a temporary situation- the war drew people together, and then afterwards, they split up. He just wanted to live a normal life, to not be a soldier, to not be a weapon, to just be…Wufei.

_Duo stood in the doorway, what would have been a smile playing around the corners of his mouth, but his soft eyes were unbelievably sad. Wufei sat on his cot, throwing the last of his meager possessions into a duffel bag. _

"_Heero and Relena left already." Duo informed him softly. Wufei nodded without looking up. "I can't believe it's over." Duo whispered, looking out the hatch of the ship, passing slowly past a small, uninhabitable planet. "It feels like we should be like…I dunno, going to Disney world, or something." Wufei snorted softly. Zipping the duffel bag, he shouldered it and walked up to the smaller boy, standing, looking down at the floor. _

"_Well." Wufei said as gently as he could. Duo lifted his tear streaked face to look Wufei in the eyes, and before Wufei knew quite what was going on, the younger boy had pulled his head down and was kissing his lips with such sad gentleness that it made Wufei want to cry. His lips tasted like salt and they trembled against his mouth, with such a fluttery delicacy that Wufei growled in the back of his throat. Duo's eyes snapped open, just as one strong hand grabbed his braid and the older boy pushed the heavy door shut. _

"_Wu…"_

"_Don't talk." Wufei pleaded, giving Duo a rough push onto the bed. The smaller boy's hands fumbled briefly with the buckle on his jeans, but Wufei pushed his hands roughly aside and undid his jeans with a practiced ease, pulling the younger boy onto his lap, onto his erection, kissing him so roughly, so desprately, that by the time they finally parted, panting, they couldn't tell whose tears it was that stained their cheeks and lips and lay heavy on their tongues. Duo scooted back, into Wufei's warm arms, his head resting against the older boy's chest. _

"_I'm going to miss you." Wufei said, at long last. Duo shut his eyes, reeling against reality, but when he opened them everything was exactly the same. _

"_Yea." He said finally, reluctantly, into the darkness. _

Wufei got up and paced into the kitchen, listening to the storm outside. Why hadn't he known? Why? Why had he assumed that because there was no more war, no more need for a soldier like him, that the whole world would stop needing him entirely? Why couldn't he just live a normal, quiet life, far away from his past? It _was_ the past, god dammit. It was the past that he had mained and tortured and killed. Duo had known, worst of all. Duo had known this was going to be their end if he didn't say something.

Why oh why couldn't he have said something?

Not a lot, Wufei reasoned. It wouldn't have taken much. An errant word, a sign, any indication at all that he wanted to stay. Anything at all. Anything to tell Wufei that the older boy mean more to him then just a ready fucktoy. Anything to make him feel..

No, he was not a stupid, squealing Onna. He wouldn't throw the L word around. Anything to make him feel valued, appreciated. Anything to make him feel like…more. And Duo never had. He's sent all the signals, sure, but too late and Wufei was already convinced himself of Duo's disintrest. And now he was dead. His whole beautiful self was gone, and Wufei would never even have the hope of seeing him, talking to him, holding him, ever again…

He screamed. He wanted out. Out of this reality. Sometimes the otherworld felt so close Wufei could feel himself clawing at it with his fingernails, but no cigar. Never no. It was much too hot in the kitchen. He needed- something- somebody…he needed Duo. God dammit. He desprately needed Duo. He needed the younger boy so bad that he was dying from the inside out because of it. And it wasn;t just tonight, oh no. It had been every night, since he had last seen him. It had been ever week of every month this year. He wanted and needed and yes, he loved Duo with such ferocity that it had killed them both.

_Wufei opened the door on the third knock. Duo stood swaying on the low porch, grinning crookedly. A little blood trickled from his left nostril._

"_Wuuu!" He exclaimed, holding a bottle up. "I brought shum wine…I thought we could…have all that…that rough shex like we ushed to." He laughed and stumbled a little closer. Wufei caught his small body in his arms and hauled him up the two steps into the house. "Soory." Duo murmered in his arms. "It was a long…long walk. I might've taken a little something to make it go faster."_

"_Are you high?" Wufei demanded, letting him go gently over the couch. Duo sat heavily, the wine sloshing, giggling a little. _

"_This? Thish isn't high, my friend. This ish…a little buzzed." Duo laughed again and reached for the older boys' hand. "Come on…come sit with me…I came all thish way to shee you…" Wufei stepped back, his onyx eyes unbelievably sad. "Wu…come here."_

"_No." Wufei said sadly, turning to go into the kitchen. "I'm going to make you some coffee."_

"_I wanted to feel you…inshide of me..Wu…"_

"_Not like that." Wufei said sadly, looking at the pathetic form on the couch. "Never like that, Duo. Why'd you do it? You know Quatre would go ballistic if he saw you like this?"_

"_I don't care about..about him." Duo said sleepily, lurching off the couch and stumbling torwards Wufei. His hollow violet eyes searched Wufei's pleadingly. "I care..about sheeing you. Feeling you. Fucking you…" He grabbed one of Wufei's hands in his. "I wanted to ashk you…to ashk you, if you think we could…I love you, 'Fei."_

_And for a moment, in the kitchen, the stark silence rang in the shocking heat of the air. _

_Wufei pulled his hand away and pushed Duo back. _

"_What! Get off me!" Duo cried, grabbing the counter to keep from falling over. "I didn't…I wanted.." He brought himself up to his full height, a confused dimness in his eyes. "What'd I do?" He cried at last. _

"_You finally said it!" Wufei yelled at him, comfortable in whatever he had to say, knowing Duo wouldn't remember a word of it in the morning. "You finally say it, and it's like this? With you drugged out of your mind? I don't want it like this! I wanted you sane and healthy! I didn't want to have to wait for your stupid drugs to convince you that you care about me!"_

_Duo opened his mouth to speak, but Wufei put up a hand, his onyx eyes willing the younger boy into silence. _

"_Not a word." He said, his voice dripping poison. "I want you out of my house by the time I wake up in the morning. And the door will be locked." He added, seething. "So don't bother trying." _

_When he woke up in the morning, the bottle of wine, half empty, was lying on the floor, spilling it's purple-black contents across the tile. And Duo was, heartbreakingly, achingly, gone. _

Wufei sat in the rain, feeling it pound the back of his neck and head, relishing the sensation, because they were the first he had felt since the funeral. It was greif, unabridged, but Wufei relished all the same because at least this way he felt _something_. He felt cold and scared, and very alone, but at least he felt. He could count his blessings.

Duo was gone. That was unavoidable. He, Wufei, had helped to usher him along. That too, was unchangeable, and true, and he would never, ever escape it.

"But I didn't know." Wufei said, at least, to the rain. "I never knew it would go this badly."

The rain didn't answer. Wufei curled up even tighter. Hadn't he and Duo once stumbled out into the rain in the dead of night? That was before. One of the first times. God, it had been awkward. But they had both been drunk, that night. Otherwise Wufei never would have… But it had felt so good. So right. Duo had grasped his erection in one hand and guided him inside and kept his mouth on Wufei's the entire time, and when Wufei had lowered his head to Duo's bulging erection, he had felt the younger boy pull away a little in embarrassment. A faint smile played along the Oriental's face as he remembered, sneaking back in so Quatre wouldn't hear, the stolen kisses when no one was watching, the nights Duo would sneak into Wufei;s room, his body sliding otterlike into the older one's arms. The sex…Wufei shut his eyes in embarrassment. The sex had been desprate, hurried, and more exhilarating then anything he'd known. He and Duo would scream like dogs together whenever the opportunity presented itself, the factor of the danger just heightening the ecstasy. Absently, in the real world, Wufei felt his manhood beginning to stiffen, straining against the front of his jeans. He leaned back in the wet grass, his face turned up torwards the warm rain running in rivulets down his face, neck, and throat. Duo's small, strong little body grinding into his, his long fingers splayed across the white sheets, Wufei's hand around his throat…Duo surrendering to the control, spasming in it, crying out as his hot white seed spilled across Wufei's belly, his hands tangling in the older boy's hair, his pupils rolled in his head, Wufei shoving up and up and up into him until he could bear it no longer and they both collapsed, panting, onto the sheets.

Duo on drugs Duo with a thin trickle of blood seeping from his nose, the cartilige worn away from the sniffing, the bloodshot violet eyes gazing up at him helplessly, the parted lips, the sad smile, the limp hair, the unwashed smell, the rain that never let up, never left him alone, Duo dying all alone in a filthy apartment, Duo alone, dying, alone. . .

_No!_ Wufei's mind didn't say it, but his head was knocked away from the terrifying images all the same. Duo, his Duo, the boy who had never loved another but his Wufei, smiling gently, his eyes stil wet and shimmering with the emotion of their coupling. This was how he wanted to be rememberd. His sad, broken little body had given up at last, but his mind, once again whole and at peace, wherever he was, wanted to remember the Wufei he had coupled and rutted with. Duo was there, inside of him, kissing the side of his neck while Wufei's erection became a pressing matter. Slowly, hating himself for thinking more about his cock then his dead lover, Wufei reached down and rubbed at himself through his jeans. His palm felt so good, so rough, against his member that he breathed in, hard, and his hands were grasping himself before he could have another thought. Slide up, Duo's smile, his violet eyes drunk with excitement, rolling over to mount Wufei like dogs, thrusting himself into him, biting the older boy's flanks. Slide down, Duo's grin in the darkness. Buddy. Friend. They were friends. Why not more? Why not lovers? Why had no one ever said what they were feeling? They had braved the most horrifying war in centuries, and he couldn't meet a pair of violet eyes across a pillow and whisper those three words that would have changed everything?

Oh dear God, it would have changed everything.

Slide up, no more Duo dead, or dying, or alone, or afraid. Duo before everything was ruined. Duo was a pair of bright violet eyes that lit up from across the room when Wufei's eyes met them. Duo was a cheeky grin that you could feel as much as you saw, a joke in the floating terror that was their last battle, as much force of nature as he was human.

Duo was loved.

Oh, how he was loved. Duo was loved with a passion, a ferocity, a burning force that drove them both onward and upward, that had killed him in the end but had still been worth the loving. It had been his time and he had suffered and he had gone, but he still loved Wufei. And Wufei loved him. Right there, kneeling in the rain, face thrust torwards the sky, shaking in an orgasm like he hadn't had in so very very long, Wufei felt Duo build in him, loving torturing suffering living being until he cried out and burst and with his seed spilling across the grass was Duo released. He could almost feel the weight lifting off of him as his world exploded and he collapsed, shaking, in the rain. Still very much alone, still heartbroken, still lonely.

But he loved. Duo was loved. Wufei had been loved. It had been there all along.

He wasn't dreaming. And Duo was here. He was all around, in the leaves, and the grass, and the rain and the wind. He was part of Wufei. He was loved, and he still loved. Wherever he was. Wufei slowly dragged himself to his feet, wiping the grass off of his legs as he stood. Yes. He would be alone. Perhaps forever. But it is what it is, he reminded himself. His great love was over. Now for all the little ones. He began limping torwards the house through the trees as a bit of breeze tugged playfully at his queue,making him clap a hand to the back of his neck.

"Not tonight, my friend." He said to ntohingness, opening the kitchen door and turning to regard the darkness. "You wore me out the first time. Not all of us have the staying power of a fat, lazy Americaajin."

The windchines shook like laughter as Wufei closed the door.

Fini


End file.
